How to Run for Office, pt II

If you liked the little idea orphan for political campaigns, maybe you’d like to take some of its idea siblings?

As I was committing the idea to pixels, a few more related ideas occurred to me, and so, if you like the last idea, here are its accessories.

I was thinking of the problem of how to make sure that your story gets attached to your name. While they will remember your story, it’s hard for them to remember to vote for you if your name is spelt with three Zs, a silent Q and the number nine.

What if your domain name was something that went with your story?

Something easy like “noflyer.com” or “nocampaignads.com.” easy to remember, and you can spell your name correctly to be seen many, many times as they read about the good things you’ve done with the money people have entrusted to you.

Use your site to figure out where to spend your money next. Why not let your “constituents” vote on which is more needed, an after school program, supplies for the food bank, or a day of free medical care to the working poor?

Learn to write press releases and spread the word about the impact your campaign dollars are having in your community.

Keep a blog which tracks not only your day to day public appearances, the people you’ve met, and the discussions you’ve had with community leaders, but, also the impact your campaign dollars are having in the community.

If you absolutely must leave houses with something, make it useful and to the point. Try a bookmark with your web address. A business card-sized refrigerator magnet. Things that are useful even if no one reads the message. Something that is useful is much harder to throw away than a flyer.

Be frugal in your campaign. This means that it’s not okay to buy the most expensive pens if a pencil will do. Publish your expenses online to show that you are spending their money wisely, and managing to control costs. Be prepared to justify every expense that is taking away from your charity works, and have a good reason for spending every penny.

That’s where the idea flood stopped. I really, really, really, really am tempted to run for office because I want to use these ideas, and show everyone how clever I am. Except for the fact that I don’t want to be in public office. I don’t really have the hair for it. And, I’m not as clever as I think I am, so, I might as well keep the world from knowing that.

Like the other idea orphans, this one is free to anyone who’d like to take care of it and raise it up to be a productive member of society.

Word of the Day: epicene

It’s a good day when a story can be told in less than 200 words. It’s not often, but, today was one of those days.

Today’s Word:

epicene

As in:

The National Security Agency declared that the Furby, a furry, epicene creature, is a severe risk to national security and has banned it from the premises of the NSA.

The toy, which has a recording device and computer chip installed inside, is
designed to “learn” and repeat phrases. Many believe that the toys are rapidly
becoming “almost sentient.”

However, many NSA insiders note that one of the reasons for the ban stems from suspicions that several of the recordings made by Linda Tripp were made with a Furby.

Others suspect that the Furby, given its “foreign” origins, is more than just an
evil recording device, but a minion of the corporate world designed to
“ferret-out” all the secrets of the world, transmit them to various Illuminati,
and then turn into robotic soldiers with small tactical nukes. The powerfully
armed creatures would then gain mobility and take over the world for their evil
masters.

Time will tell.

*****

Short and sweet. There it is. And I’m done.

epicene: / EP-eh-scene / Androgynous; hermaphroditic.