There is not much to put in the introduction to this story, since it pretty much stands on its own.  Which means I am wasting your time here. Which is not atypical of the intro even when it’s ostensibly relevant.

Today’s Word:

vilipend

As in:

Inspired by the effectiveness of walk-a-thons to raise money for disease research funding, and other charitable causes, a group of concerned citizens has started a campaign to raise money for an unexpected need.

Calling themselves “Walk for The Cure,” the fans of the rock group “The Cure” have united to assist needy, has-been musicians in their time of need.

Spokesman Wendy Toikna summed it all up. “Really, it’s sad. Some groups put out a few albums and are popular for a brief time, and then, no one ever hears anything about them. Usually, they slip into poverty, alcoholism, or worse–guest spots on the late Hollywood Squares, which is not even an option any more. The situation is awful. It’s demoralizing. Our bands deserve better than this. ‘Walk for The Cure’ changes all of that. We started out to help The Cure put out their latest release–they just needed a few million dollars to entice a record company to take them on, and then, we saw how much of a need there really was. From ‘one hit wonders’ to struggling bands started by the offspring of talented, well-known singer/songwriters, we help them all.”

“And truly, we cannot vilipend these musicians. We can’t blame them for the fickle nature of American popular culture. We can’t ignore them after they fall from favor. It’s just not right. It’s time we help them to get back on their feet. It’s a good feeling to know that we’re making the world a better place.”

*********************
Of course, I was inspired by the ads for the recent “Race for the Cure,” an area fund-raiser for breast cancer research, and I basically thought too long about the name of the event. Mea culpa. Oh well. That’s it for tonight.

vilipend / vil-EH-pen-d / treat as of small worth; condemn; disparage.

This is a story that  I wrote during the height of the “Pluto-planet” controversy. I tweaked it to make it not so dated.

Today’s Word:

deictic

As in:

Five years ago Pluto,was  “downgraded” from “major” planet to “minor” planet.

Earthlings have always been fond of the little, icy world on the edge of our system. When it was discovered in 1930, Walt Disney felt that the name Pluto, and the new, noble planet it represented, would be a fitting moniker for the pet of his cartoon mouse, Mickey.

The news that Pluto would remain at least still be planet, has given hope to the members of the “Make Greenland a Continent Club,” an organization dedicated to the recognition of Greenland as a the world’s smallest continent. The group offers several arguments as to why Greenland should be “promoted” and feel that merely looking at the size of the island on a map is deictic enough to support their claim.

“If you look at Greenland on an ordinary classroom map, you will see our point.
Greenland is far larger than Australia, which has full continent status.” (This
comparison is based upon looking at a Mercator projection map, not based on
actual size relationships.) says the group’s President and founder. “I find it
rude that such a large land mass would be treated in such a fashion.”

Of course, after the Lake Champlain incident, (in which the relatively small
lake was awarded designation as a “Great Lake”, and then later that designation
was rescinded) the group had given up hope that Greenland would ever be
reclassified, and was trying to console itself with the fact that Greenland, if
not the world’s smallest continent, was still the world’s largest island.

*************
Well, so much for that. Actually, there is a “Make Greenland a Continent” club.
It was “founded” by my sister, largely, I think, for the sole purpose of having
interesting debates with me. We would each take a side in the “important”
Greenland debate, and just argue for the sake of arguing. It was a fun mental
exercise, more about the game than about the topic of conversation. In fact, for
a class I took on Buddhism, I wrote a paper on the arguments we would have, ones much like the Greenland argument, as a sort of almost Zen intellectual game. The arguments were never hostile, just exercises, and sometimes, we would switch sides and argue the other side of the case. My professor was so amused by the whole thing, he asked me to ask my sister if he could join the “Make Greenland a Continent Club”. My sister, who was equally pleased, sent him a membership card and made him Vice President and Treasurer. He then asked her to pay her membership dues.

deictic: / DIK-tik / adj. from the Greek. directly pointing out or proving;

I figured, it was a good thing to pick a word from the Greek, since, well, without those crazy Greeks and their wacky gods, the Romans wouldn’t have had anything to steal, and we wouldn’t have named our planets after the Roman versions of Greek deities. Pluto, of course, was Hades to the Greeks.

This is a short tale, and I admit, I wrote it many years ago, when Sally Jesse Raphael was still on television. So, it’s a tad dated, but, so long as you know that she was a talk show host, well, it makes sense.

Today’s Word:

yisse

As in:

Driven by the success of that Oprah Winfrey’s book club has granted to books that might otherwise have been low-key, low volume sellers, other talk show and radio hosts are themselves following her example.

Jerry Springer’ s Book Club this month features “The Anarchist’s
Cookbook,” and Springer himself offers to have his guests bring their
‘creations’  in for the audience to sample. Previous Springer picks have
included Jeff Foxworthy’ s “You Might Be a Redneck” book, the “Collected
Works of the National Enquirer” and “150 Ways to Widows can Annoy a Cousin’s
Necrophilac Wife after she’s Slept with your Brother and Married your
Husband.”

Sally Jesse Raphael, not to be out done, and, driven by her jealousy for
Oprah’s popularity and power over the publishing industry, is also trying to
project a cultured, literary, image. Says Raphael, “I yisse adoring crowds
that will jump the instant I speak to recommend some dumb book”

Raphael’ s first picks, she admits, are not for everyone, and she insists that
“while they aren’t quite the ‘high-falutin’ crap that Oprah recommends, they
sure are a heck of a lot less depressing.” Her selections recently have
included a Harlequin Romance novel (any will do, no specific title is needed),
any book by Danielle Steele, John Grisham’ s “A Time to Kill” and “The
Rainmaker” (because they both have movie versions, and well, that Matt Damon is pretty cute in ” The Rainmaker.”)

**********************

I thought about updating this one to make a more relevant reference to some other talk show host, but, I’m being lazy. It’s a thing.

yisse: /YIS-ee/ to desire, covet.

The strangest part of this story is that is based on a true story. Only the ending has been changed.

Today’s Word:

pogonip

As in:

Thirty-two years ago, Bredo Morstoel, died. At the time of his death, Morstoel, who neighbors referred to as “that crazy guy who lives next door and freezes things and throws cats at neighborhood children,” was put in cryostasis in hopes that one day he will be thawed and resume life amongst the not-so-frozen.

After his death, his grandson, brought him from Norway to the United States, specifically, the town of Nederland in Colorado.

Unfortunately, Bauge, who had been storing his grandfather in a storage shed, was forced to return to Norway in order to help other family members who were in danger of freezing to death due to the loss of their family home. Stranger yet, because Bauge, who had intended to return to the U.S. and put his
grandfather into a more appropriate facility before the onset of summer and a premature thaw, was unable to return, the body is now thawed, and Morstoel is actually alive and well at a local hospital. When asked about his “chilling” experience, Morstoel replied, “Heck, it was nothing more than the feeling of a deep Norwegian winter. In fact, I found it quite refreshing, just like the sensation of frozen particles hammering into your body during a brisk walk through a pogonip.”

*************

Okay, so, Morstoel is still dead. And still frozen. In 2002, the town of Nederland started a festival in honor of their most frozen citizen, and called it “Frozen Dead Guy Days.”  The first weekend in March, the town holds coffin races, a frozen salmon toss, a brain freeze contest, a ball and tours of the “dead guy.” If you’ve a mind to go, well, head up to Nederland March 2-4, 2012 

pogonip: / paw – GEH – nip / a dense winter fog containing frozen particles.

This word was chosen more for how it’s pronounced than for any other reason.
In fact, what it rhymes with is pretty much the inspiration for the story. This all will make more sense as you read…

Today’s Word:

hie

As in:

The twelfth annual “Rodent Rodeo” was about to get underway. Over fifty
contestants had trained and prepared for the grand event, and they were all
assembled in the arena for the day’s contests. Cricket cowboys rode bucking
rats until the timers went off. The mouse roping events, always an impressive
sight, were won by last year’s champion, a beetle named Chuck. The beaver
riding exhibition, dangerous as always, was completed, and the only injury was
to the rodeo clown, who was bruised by a swing of the great beast’s tail.

But the events that drew the largest crowd were the fly races. These were
sponsored every year by a beer company, and a large crowd lined the race
course. The flies were on the starting mark, and after the signal was given,
they were off. Amid shouts of “hie, fly” from coaches and fans, the flies
buzzed around the arena.

But then, just before the flies reached the halfway point, tragedy struck.
Somehow, through the security gates, past the arena fencing, and over the tiny
bleachers, two frogs hopped onto the scene. With a few quick snaps of their
deadly tongues, the contest was over, and the athletes consumed. Panic erupted
in the arena, and several small insects were trampled by spectators fleeing
the scene.

***********
hie / HYE / Rhymes with “fly”. It means, to go quickly, or hasten. Now you see why this inspired the story. It’s funny to hear “hie, fly,” for soooo many reasons. (Okay, good may be pushing it, but funny, it’s funny, see? Yeah, I know, it’s getting less funny with each insistance)