The final story, at long last. I am more grateful than usual for Friday’s appearance. A small shout out to my little sister for brainstorming help with these last few stories.

The final nominee for Best Picture is An Education. It has Olivia Williams in it. (She was Adelle on Dollhouse.) Clearly, this year, for me, it’s all about the Whedon alums. Except for the part where I failed to mention yesterday that Simon Helberg (Moist) played a rabbi in A Serious Man. So, I did that just now.

Did I mention I’m glad it’s Friday?

Today’s Word:

importune

As in:

The nursing home was clean, well-staffed, and pleasant enough. If it was a bit out-dated, that was not such a huge thing, after all, the most important thing was that it was cheap. Well, cheaper. He couldn’t take his mother to the *cheapest* place, that would be unseemly.

Once David Goldman got his mother settled, he’d come ’round once or twice a week, say “hello,” bring her some sweets. It’ll be much better for her. He’d sell her flat, just one more profitable business venture. She would importune him to keep it, but, it was worth much more than what he’d offered her, and he was a businessman after all.

He knew he shouldn’t take such advantage of his own mother, and a twinge of guilt tugged at his conscience. He ignored it, and moved onto other thoughts.

After a few days, he had been called to the nursing home because of some disturbance. His mother and her roommate had been involved in some sort of altercation.

As he came close to his mother’s room, the other woman came into focus, and he knew.

Marvina Coopersmith had lived a flat not far from here, and he had “encouraged” her to sell her flat, at a substantially reduced price, when a black family had moved into her building. That he had encouraged the Faucets to move there was just part of the bargain. “Blockbusting” worked just as well in England as it did in the U.S.

Of course, while he “worked” with the elderly widow to purchase her flat, he’d also visited a number of times, and “acquired” a few items from Marvina’s jewelry collection, which might’ve found their way into his mother’s hands.

He ducked out of sight of the door, in case she recognized him. He’d never thought he’d see her again, and in the worst way imaginable. What if they put the connection together? How was he going to explain this mess?

Quickly, he exited the building. When he reached his office, he made arrangements, over the phone, to have his mother moved to another, slightly more expensive, nursing home. He contacted the home, made up a story about having acquired the jewelry from an unidentifiable man in a pub years ago, and he hoped that that would be the end of it.  The spot of guilt was much harder to ignore that afternoon, and it lingered with him for many days, and decided never again to give his mother stolen jewelry.

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Yay for Friday! Farewell to the guilty Oscars!  Type to you all on Monday.

importune / IM – per – TUNE / to urge or beg with annoying persistence

I feel like guilt has really eaten my lunch this week. I can see light, but, I hear a train whistle, and I feel like that light is mocking me.

Today we’re going to go to the latest offering from the Coen brothers, A Serious Man. It’s a more loosely based adaptation on the book of Job than O Brother, Where Art Thou  is a version of The Odyssey, and that’s saying quite a lot.

The one thing this has going for the theme is *actual* guilt, which is different than the happenings in the book of Job, where the title character is innocent. So, it’s time for Hashem to give this “Job” the what-for.

Today’s Word:

tittle

As in:

And the Lord said unto Larry, “Why hast thou accepted unto yourself the money of convenience? That money of false witness?

And Larry looked unto the Lord, and said: “Why did I take the bribe? Is that what this is all about?”

The Lord said unto Larry, “Thou believeth in mine wrath, then question not mine ways. Thou hast done wrong, and thou hast annoyed the Lord by raising children of poor quality and allowing those of your house to join the Columbia Record Club.”

Larry said unto the Lord, “the Columbia Record Club? You’re mad about the Columbia Record Club?”

And unto Larry the Lord spoke, “Yes.”

Larry shook his head, and said unto the Lord, “Really?”

And the Lord sighed, and spoke unto Larry, “The offerings were not pleasing unto Mine ears, and thou hast received the monthly selection and not made payment unto them. Thus saith the Lord, Thou shalt not Steal. Furthermore, thou shalt make joyful noises unto the Lord, not noises of painful ear-searing unpleasantness.”

And Larry muttered to himself. “Great. The Lord is a music critic.”

And the anger of the Lord was made complete.

“Speak not with a tittle of disparagement on thy lips! The Columbia Record Club is an abomination, oppressing the weak of focus. Furthermore, thou shalt not revile The Lord, nor curse His ways! I shall smite you where you stand!”

And he did, leaving Larry a smoking stump of a former human. Some said that this death was more merciful than the one promised by the advanced pancreatic cancer Larry’s doctor had discovered in his physical.

**************
The sound in my head of the words “And the Lord spoke unto Larry” was worth the whole rest of the story.

tittle / TIT – ll / 1. a small distinguishing mark, such as the dot on a lowercase i or j. 2. A very small part or quantity. It appears in translations of some verses of some New Testament verses, so, it seemed appropriate.

The front runner for the Best Picture prize is currently “The Hurt Locker.” I know, I’m  surprised too.

The most important thing to know about “The Hurt Locker” is that it’s directed by Kathryn Bigelow, who used to be married to Avatar director James Cameron. She’s only the fourth woman to be nominiated for a Best Director award, and if she wins, it will be a first for ladies.

The second most important thing to know is that Jeremy Renner played the role of Penn in a guest spot on Angel.  He was also Det. Walsh on The Unusuals, but, I think only 10 people watched that show, including myself, so, it means nothing to you, and I’ll stop.

Today’s Word:

somnambulist

As in:

The rush of battle is often a potent and lethal addiction, for war is a drug.
–Chris Hedges

Adrenaline junkie, and EOD (Explosive Ordnance Disposal) team leader, Sargent William James  was starting to realize he might have a problem, and it amused him.

If it was possible to be addicted to war, did that mean that the Army was his dealer? Did that make the U.S. government his supplier? If so, weren’t they responsible for his addiction? Could he sue?

He smiled at the thought.

It entertained him to think about what it would look like to take the U.S. Army to court over this illicit trade. Could war be considered a “controlled substance?” Only countries could declare war, after all, and most of the equipment and arms he used were not traded on the open, legal markets. Maybe he could get Johnie Cochran to take the case.

He could hear the radio announcer on TV say “The war on terror took a surprising new direction today as it became part of the war on drugs as a soldier sues the army for peddling illegal substances.”

He wondered if he could make an argument that the US was guilty of peddling drugs to minors, given the number of soldiers under the age of 21 that have been employed in the military for centuries. War was at least as dangerous as alcohol, and the Federal Government insisted that people be 21 to use that substance.

Maybe a lawsuit would keep him interested in his time away from Delta Company.  When he was stateside, he felt like such a somnambulist, just going from routine task to routine task, like swimming in molasses.

It was fun to think about, even if he thought it was a ridiculous notion. Good thing there didn’t seem to be any chance that the supply of IEDs was going to diminish anytime soon.

And, with that, he grabbed his gear and headed out for the night’s adventures.

********************
The opening quotation appears on a title card as “The Hurt Locker” begins. And, the movie reminded me a of my friend and loyal reader, the good Judge, who spent some time doing some ordinance disposal in the Air Force. This one is for you.

somnambulist / sahm – NAM – byoo – list / a sleepwaker. Also, not coincidentally, the name of Jeremy Renner’s Angel episode.

I’m not going to lie to you, Marge, these Oscar stories have been really hard. I’m not sure I’m going to keep the tradition up next year, if this is how it goes. maybe, I’ll just have gained enough wisdom so as not to pick something as unfunny as “guilt” to tie the stories together.

The movie is “Precious,” which has enough horrible guilty content that I couldn’t bear to add to that burden. Instead, I’m passing the guilt on to the director.

Today’s Word:

embonpoint

As in:

Director Lee Daniels waited on the curb outside the theater where “Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire” as being screened as part of the Cannes Film Festival. He was worried. How would this movie appear to the outside world? Did he dare go in? Should he hide to avoid the crowd which would be exiting at any moment?

As he sat, cradling his head in his hands, doubt invaded his brain bringing with it reinforcements. He *knew* he had pushed the content too far. His anxiety-ridden brain was certain that the movie was going to be seen as nothing more than another negative portrayal of African-Americans, and that he’d turn race relations back to pre-Obama levels.

As his anxiety got the better of his sanity, he got up to flee the scene before the audience could murder him on the red carpet. He was too late. The crowd was emerging from the theater.

Maybe they wouldn’t recognize him.

No such luck.

“Monsieur Daniels, I loved your movie very much. Where did you find such fine actresses? I have not seen such, shall we say, embonpoints. I am much moved.” said a young woman.

A man called across the crowd “Bah! This movie is nothing but torture-porn! You are a blaxploiter! Can you not be more like Tyler Perry?”

And yet other voices shouted their opinions:

“It was painful! Brutal and honest, but, beautiful! An accomplishment!”

“I for one think you and your Oprah Winfrey group therapy partners should take your incest addictions elsewhere! You are a monster!”

“You make the baby Jesus cry! How dare you!”

“I liked it much better than Cats! I’m going to see it again and again and again.”

*********
I worked on this in my spare moments all day.  It was a tough one to get completed.

embonpoint / ah – bah – pohn / plumpness of a person. Given its French root, make sure each syllable is good and nasal, and pretend the consonants are only suggestions…

It’s the first of March, which is St. David’s Day. St. David is the patron of Wales. Wear your leeks proudly!

As you might’ve guessed, St. David is a bit of a distraction while I try to come up with something to write about for one of the five remaining Best Picture nominees. I think the Academy ought to be feeling a tad guilty themselves. I don’t know that their choices are any more relevant or deserving of praise than in previous years, that has always been part of the whole Oscar game, but with 10 of them, it certainly feels harder to justify all the selections.

But then, what do I know?

I spent a good part of this weekend converting the Word of the Day site to WordPress. All of the content has been migrated, with the exception of the comments, which I don’t think can be moved. I have some tweaking to do still, but, on the whole I think it’s in good shape. Please note, if you are using RSS you may need to adjust your feed.

Ok. I’ve dallied more than long enough. I’m going to be dipping into The Blind Side now.

Today’s Word:

obeisance

As in:

Ever since Michael Oher became a professional football player, a spotlight has been pointed in the direction of his adoptive parents, Sean and Leigh Anne Tuohy. The spotlight has drawn  a great deal of attention to the family, and left them with a problem they had never anticipated.

Hidden amidst the accusations of ulterior motives on the part of the Tuohys and suggestions that the message of the book and movie is ultimately racist, is a much more profound statement, one which people have started to act upon.

This “message” has been a very difficult one for the Tuohy family, and they are afraid that there is no escaping the repercussions of this strange interpretation of the film’s meaning.

Desperate families from all over the country, convinced that the Tuohys have been given the gift of bestowing professional caliber football talent upon people, have started to bring their children to the Tuohy’s Tennessee home in the dead of night, leaving the youngsters in the Tuohy’s driveway, with nothing more than their football equipment. Some of the children have been as young as 9 months old.

The family matriarch, now referred to in reverent tones by the football faithful as St. Leigh Anne, has started to have football miracles attributed to her activities.

One family, whose child was on the high school team with Oher, claims their child went from an average of one reception a season to 6 each game ever since being touched by Leigh Anne at a booster club event. Football pilgrims from as far away as Montana have been inspired to new heights of achievement after simply watching Leigh Anne shop for decorating supplies. Another family drives 50 miles out of their way to drive past the Tuohy house before morning practice, in a unique type of obeisance.

The family tried to appeal to those searching for football blessings, telling them that they hold no particular gift or special powers, and asking that they keep their children and stop abandoning them on their driveway. Their appeals have had no effect, if anything, the activity and claims have increased.

All are hopeful that the hoopla surrounding the book and the movie will subside soon, and they can go back to being a normal family with a son in the NFL.

********************
Mondays are painful, aren’t they? Type to you tomorrow.

obeisance / oh – BEE – sense / 1. a movement made in token of respect or submission: bow 2. acknowledgment of another’s superiority or importance: homage

One thing I have learned from this set of stories: Guilt is just not funny. You all are probably right to think me insane, or at the very least, idiotic, for picking this theme. I’m thinking I’m probably both. But, as I’ve gotten myself into this mess, I’m going to continue attempting to make guilt funny.

So, on that hopeless note, I bring you Inglorious Basterds, now with more guilt!

Today’s Word:

irenic

As in:

The year is 1941. SS Colonel Hans Landa has just paid a visit to dairy farmer, Perrier LaPadite, and, in his charming and insidious way, forced him to reveal that he is hiding the Dreyfus family, his former neighbors, who are Jewish.  Landa assassinates the family, hiding under the floor boards. All except their teenage daughter, Shosanna, who escapes the house, and Landa allows to flee.

After completing their act of murder, the Nazis leave the LaPadites with a floor filled with bullet holes, a bunch of bodies, and the lingering guilt over trading their lives for the neighbors.

The farmer stacks the bodies of the Dreyfus’ together in the cellar, to bury the next day. He weeps for failing them, and hopes Shosanna is able to survive. He tidies up his home as best he can, and retires for the night.

In the morning, before the family has gotten up to milk the cows, they hear sounds from the cellar. Fearing the Nazis have returned, Perrier grabs a pitchfork, and goes to investigate.

He finds more than he had imagined.

The Dreyfus family was no longer stacked neatly in their corner of the cellar. They were at the door, pounding to be let out. They rushed past LaPadite as soon as he opened the door, which meant he had time to attempt a conversation with them.

“You’re alive?! How can this be?”

They rudely ignore him, and shamble towards open air. LaPadite calls again. They continue to ignore him and walk at a below-average pace toward the direction Colonel Landa had vacated the premises.

If LaPadite had ever heard of such a thing as a Zombie, that would be what he would’ve called the Dreyfuss family. But, if had known about zombies, he would wonder why they didn’t stop to eat his, or his family’s brains. But, instead, he was just pleased he didn’t have to bury them, and silently wished them well.

The Dreyfuss’ had bigger goals than brains. They wanted Landa. So, with their new-found zombie focus, they pursued him as quickly as their shambling feet would take them.

For three years they pursue him across Europe, never quite reaching their prey. As the summer of 1944 arrives, and the signs become more irenic, the family’s single-mindedness becomes alerted to a significant change. Their inexplicable homing signal, drawing them to Landa, has radically changed direction, and became much weaker.

Being zombies, this simply meant a change in direction, and a trans-Atlantic walk under the ocean toward the U.S., where one day, perhaps they would meet Landa again, and take care of his particular brand of evil.

***************
Zombies are always funny, right? I’m sure you are tired of them, but, today, the Zombies saved me, and I’m grateful. 

irenic / eye – REN – ik / favoring or conducive to peace, or becoming more peaceful.