You all know me by my hallucinatory writings in this little corner of the internet, on the intersection of “Strange” and “Peculiar,” but by day I am a perfectly ordinary receptionist working for the State of Colorado.
Well, mostly ordinary.
I know, I’m not very convincing, am I?
Well, you are all very clever and have spotted my attempts to reframe myself as a touch less of a freak.
I guess I should not be couching this so much as a disclaimer or excuse, but rather I should embrace the whole of my insanity and wave my freak flag proudly.
Therefore, in the spirit of displaying one more facet of my freakdom, I will share these bits with you.
In my position, I am frequently called upon to send global e-mails to the staff.
Me being me, I can’t bear to just send another borint e-mail that brings nothing but information. I mean, if you’re going to send something, and *demand* their attention, you might as well reward them and make it worth reading, right?
My coworkers seem to enjoy them, and I thought you might like to see them as well. Here’s the first one I ever sent.
Subject: Found CDs
Four Memorex CD-Rs, labeled in handwriting using multi-colored sharpies, were found in the parking lot. If you are missing these CDs, they are also missing you. They will be safely sheltered at the Front Desk, where they will wait patiently for their adventure to be concluded and for the joyful reunion to be commenced.