Making the mundane more festive!

I’m working on a bit of brain death today, but, I promised to post. I think. Anyway, this is another one of those “making the mundane fun” work e-mails I sent last year.

Subject: The Santa no one wants
“Wait, Wait!” you say,
“This cannot be!”
There is no Santa we’d wish to flee!
Alas, if I may
Just disagree
There is a He without devotee.

Santa of Science
His gifts: green fur
It causes foodstuffs to not long endure.

Food in the Fridge
Should not long be left
For the holiday Scientist elf.

Remove, then, your food
Hide the temptation
Avoiding his furry donation.

The deadline looms
This Thursday by noon
Else smells the guilty to impugn

This verse is probably not going to be a runaway Christmas favorite anytime soon, is it? Oh well.

If you are confused by that monstrosity, which is not entirely unlikely, the gist is this: please take out any food from the various fridges which will spoil over the holiday. This preparation needs to be completed before noon on Dec. 23rd to make sure that these items are not left in the building as a science experiment of a different sort.

In addition, I want to wish everyone a wonderful break. Stay warm and safe, relax and enjoy your time with family and friends.

Goblinoids of All Soul’s

This is another of those work e-mails I thought you all might like to enjoy.

Subject: Trunk Mystery
A visitor just informed me that there is a Honda Accord with the license place 195 XXX in our lot with an open trunk. Perhaps the spirits of All Soul’s Day are playing a trick on various latching mechanisms? Or possibly goblinoids have stowed away and escaped under cover of bright day light? Is it a job for CSI:Denver, or the Ghostbusters? Who can you call?

Best wishes for a secure trunk, with no missing items…

Bringing humor to the mundane

You all know me by my hallucinatory writings in this little corner of the internet, on the intersection of “Strange” and “Peculiar,” but by day I am a perfectly ordinary receptionist working for the State of Colorado.

Well, mostly ordinary.

I know, I’m not very convincing, am I?

Well, you are all very clever and have spotted my attempts to reframe myself as a touch less of a freak.

I guess I should not be couching this so much as a disclaimer or excuse, but rather I should embrace the whole of my insanity and wave my freak flag proudly.

Therefore, in the spirit of displaying one more facet of my freakdom, I will share these bits with you.

In my position, I am frequently called upon to send global e-mails to the staff.

Me being me, I can’t bear to just send another borint e-mail that brings nothing but information. I mean, if you’re going to send something, and *demand* their attention, you might as well reward them and make it worth reading, right?


My coworkers seem to enjoy them, and I thought you might like to see them as well.  Here’s the first one I ever sent.

Subject: Found CDs

Happy Tuesday!

Four Memorex CD-Rs, labeled in handwriting using multi-colored sharpies, were found in the parking lot. If you are missing these CDs, they are also missing you. They will be safely sheltered at the Front Desk, where they will wait patiently for their adventure to be concluded and for the joyful reunion to be commenced.