Today’s tale is another in the series of “fractured nursery rhymes.” This one is dedicated to my friend, and historical food cookery aficionado, Sheila.
A Middle Ages-themed restuarant, “Pease Porridge” has been closed by the health inspector, after tests revealed that the contents of the pot were, in fact, nine days old.
The restuarant, which was billed as serving authentic recipes from 16th century Europe, opened seven months ago to mixed reviews. Several critics complimented the venue’s authenticity, and even appreciated a number of the dishes as “unique and surprisingly tasty.” A few noted that the food was “decidedly odd,” and specifically mentioned that the signature dish, “pease porridge,” a typical peasant dish, was “largly unappetizing, especially served cold. It did not inspire thoughts of deglutition.”
The dish, available in both hot and cold preparations, was praised by some patrons, but others found it barely palatable. Some complained it had little flavor, and others claimed it was too salty.
The restuarant’s owner, Margaret West, explained that their dedication to authenticity was the culprit in this diversity of experiences. “Like those peasants whose diet depended upon this inexpense preparation of veggetables stewed in a single pot over the only source of heat in their small dwellings, we started with peas and bacon, and then added to it over each day. We put in the things we had leftover from other menu items.”
This set off red flags for Jeffrey Lopez, a health inspector and fan of historical recipes. “I went to the restuarant hoping that they were not cooking things to warm, and then leaving them over a hearth (whether literal or figurative) over night to then serve the concoction cold. I had hoped they were using refrigeration for the food when it was not heated to temperature. Food kept out overnight is a dangerous proposition, and is a perfectly suited environment for bacteria to grow.”
West commented on this idea as being “… a bit paranoid.” She went on to state that people today are just a bit too obsessed with food safety, and it would do them good to build their immune systems and stop worrying so much about bacteria. She notes that our ancestors wouldn’t have discovered cheese if they’d had our predjudices about food storage, and indicates that “they survived. Well, most of them. They might even expect to live to the ripe old age of 40!”
This was funnier in my head.
Also, tomorrow, the largest internet protest ever will be taking place to protest SOPA and PIPA. These are *REAL* bills, about to PASS, and not Kate Middleton’s siblings. While I’m not a fan of piracy, these bills will not put a dent in stopping *actual* piracy, and could really hurt businesses that depend on the internet.
deglutition / DEE – glue – ti – shun / the act or process of swallowing