Word of the Day: edacious

This is another entry in the “fractured nursery rhyme” genre. I also suspect I’ve got serial killers on my brain.

Today’s Word:


As in:

Police finally arrested a suspect in the bizarre string of murders, which left a trail of pumpkin and death all over the city. Peter Logan, 38, was arrested on evidence that he is the notorious “Pumpkin Eater,” so called for leaving bits of pumpkin with human bite marks at the numerous brutal murder scenes.

The police believe that Logan, who first came under suspicion when his wife, Dorothy, went missing a number of years ago, has been moving around the country under a number of names, and is responsible for over 40 murders in 15 different states. His missing wife is now believed to be one of his victims.

In an interview with the suspect, police questioned Logan about his wife. He told them in a fit of fury, that “he had a wife,” and that “he couldn’t keep her.” Later statements, which brought into question whether the suspect was mentally fit to stand trial, indicated that Mrs. Logan had been “put into a pumpkin shell.” The statement, given on video, was accompanied by fits of maniacal laughter. After his comment on the whereabouts of his wife, Logan again laughed, and stated that “there she kept very well.”

As the body of Mrs. Logan has not been found, no one is entirely certain what Mr. Logan meant by the statement. Some have speculated that he only said it because it rhymed with ‘shell.’ Others wondered if Logan had some mental aberration that compelled him to speak in rhyming couplets.

Despite the lack of a case against Logan for the disappearance of his wife, he stands charged with dozens of other murders, and the prosecution has strong evidence that Peter Logan is the “Pumpkin Eater.” Legal experts suspect that the recorded statements about his wife are little more than the “basis for an insanity defense,” however, they maintain their case is very strong and feel confident that Logan will not be leaving police custody any time soon.

“It’s hard to believe this is a real case and not the plot of one of those Jack Patterson novels,” noted investigator Phoebe Monroe. “Granted, if it were an Alex Cross case, the killer would be a good deal more perverted, so, I’m grateful it’s not worse than it already is.”

A few people, mostly neighbors of Logan, have indicated that they believe the man is innocent.

“They got the wrong guy,” said Janet Fuentes. “There’s no way he did all those things to those women. Once, he even babysat for my kids, and they had a great time. Do you really think I would leave my children in the care of a serial killer? Of course not. I’m an excellent judge of character. Some people might even say the kids coming home with carved pumpkins in July is proof enough, but, they weren’t even real pumpkins, just those foamy kind you get at hobby stores.”

This characterization is at odds with the edacious “Pumpkin Eater,” whose appetite for pumpkin and for violent homicide has only gotten worse.

Bail was not granted, and Logan is being held in a maximum security cell until it is determined where he will be tried.

edacious / eh – DAY – shus / having a huge appetite: ravenous 2. excessively eager: insatiable