I’m technically on vacation, but, not on vacation from you, my loyal readers. Well, I did tack yesterday off. It was Memorial Day. I’m hanging out with out of state family, so, I made my mom pick the today’s word.
This story was inspired by our trip to the infamous Casa Bonita last night, my sister suggested it, a true family affair.
For those of you that have never heard of Casa Bonita, well, this link about sums it up. You DO NOT go for the food. It’s horrifying. It didn’t use to be, but, they’ve now got a reputation to keep. We go because my nephews think it is heaven. They also are young enough to order the kid’s chicken strips, which are probably the best thing on the menu because they aren’t made there, but bought and just thrown in a fryer to heat. Well, ok. The sopapillas are terrific.
Tonight on Kitchen Nightmares, Gordon Ramsay visits the infamous Casa Bonita, a Mexican Restaurant hidden in the suburbs of Denver. The restaurant is famous for two things: its 30 foot waterfall, and the worst Mexican food known to man.
Like every visitor to the restaurant, Gordon waited in line to order his entree. All guests must order an entree, it’s the admission price. All meals come with all you can eat sopapillas.
As he approaches the order taker, before he has beheld a single dish, he decides to order the “All You Can Eat” beef platter. Little did he know that the phrase “All You Can Eat” is more of a threatening challenge than a marketing term.
After getting his meal, and placing it on his tray, he is escorted to a prize location near the waterfall. Gordon cannot be fooled or distracted into believing the food in front of him is actually edible. He picks at it for a moment, says a prayer to stave off food poisoning, and takes a bite. He spits it out.
Raising the flag, he summons the waitress to his table.
“Can I get you another taco, sir?” says the waitress helpfully.
“No. Please. No. I think I just lost five years of me life in tasting that. Frankly, I’m fairly certain there can be no beef in this beef. I’ve seen more appetizing items in my own pig sty, when the pigs have been taken out of the pen. People pay $14 for this? This makes Taco Bell look like upscale fine dining food. ”
“Yes, sir. Maybe I should bring you some sopapillas. They’re good. It’d probably be best if I take this away.”
He nods, and covers it in a napkin, a simple “burial” to protect the viewer from having to view the mess again.
She returns and places the dessert in front of him, a basket of golden, piping-hot delight. He looks taken aback. “These came from the same kitchen as that horse sh–, um, meat?”
She swallows. “Well, not exactly. They’re made over there.” She points to the sopapillas station, where a single person was cutting and frying the dough into magical treats.
Gordon added honey and took a bite. “Those are quite good. How can you serve food of such disparate standards? I’ve smelled dog food that is more appealing than that plate of crap you sat me here with. Now, don’t be mingy, I want another basket of these. They might be terrible for your health, but, they are delicious. I need to get rid of that vile taste, and possibly get my entire meals worth in these things.”
I’m not entirely sure this is fiction. My sisters both tried the chicken fried steak this time around. Which both said was far better than their previous meals. Not good, but better. Sad that the best things on the menu of a Mexican restaurant are not at all Mexican. Except the sopapillas.
mingy / MEN – gee / mean, stingy