Most of you are thinking that it it’s tax day, and that there are a bunch of people panicking about the fact that they’ve got to get their taxes done and submitted. However, even though I just wrote about that panic, I am reminder of another fateful April 15. This one is from 1912, and involves a little ship called the RMS Titanic.
This is a story I wrote in 1997 for the Oscars that year. You might recall that Titanic took the top honors. I am inclined to ignore that recollection. For this Oscar series, I wrote a number of scenes that had been “left on the cutting room floor.” This is one of those deleted scenes.
The scene is the dark ocean. Rose is sitting upon a plank of wood, and Jack, in irons, is holding onto the edge, and trying not to freeze to death. Just when it seems he will slip into the depths, a
man, apparently breathing underwater, swims over to him, grabs him around the waist, and takes him to a warm, undersea city. The city is filled with lights, and seems to be the home of aliens or
creatures that can manipulate water. Several oxygen-atmosphere areas in this city have been created out of the salt water, and people resembling the strange man who brought Jack here, are wandering about. The hero, known by the others here as “The Mariner” is a mutant, and has webbed-feet and gills. The Mariner is played by Kevin Costner. He pulls Jack over to a quiet area.
“So, kid. I brought you here because this story needs a happy ending. When they try to make a movie about this story years from now, they will spend $200 million on it, and without a happy ending, it’ll flop. I know. They’ll probably get Cameron to direct it, and he’ll try to make it some sappy love story, where the leading man throws himself into the abyss and is saved by some spacy alien/under-water dwellers or some such nonsense. No siree, it’s time to save high-budget movie making from its bad rap. He’s nothing but a gongoozler, staring as if he knows what he’s doing. We’re going to make this thing work. Stick with me kid.”
Jack, who looks absolutely bewildered by this weirdo, has no idea who Cameron is, nor how there exists $200 million in the world to do anything, just nods. He tells this wacko that he’s just glad to be alive, and wants to be reunited with Rose. The strange mutant obliges, and, fitting him with some breathing apparatus and an insulated outfit, he takes him to the coast of America, where the Carpaithia has just docked. He sets out to find Rose DeWitt Bukater, not knowing that she has changed her name to Rose Dawson. He never finds her.
Cameron cut this scene because it was too meta, and less emotionally satisfying. Have a good day, all.
gongoozler: / gone – GOOZ – ler / One who stares for hours at anything out of the ordinary.