I think today’s story speaks for itself, which means that I’m completely wasting your time by typing this. I suppose you could just skip this part.
Banking on the common wisdom that “Hunger makes the best sauce,” a California firm has launched a line of sauces simply called “Hunger.” The product is completely free of all allergens, calories, preservatives, fat, nutritional content or, for that matter, ingredients.
The packaging is clear, and the contents appear to be transparent. They weigh next to nothing. The brightly colored labels feature preparation instructions. The directions are simple: Use Hunger after waiting a minimum of 8 hours between meals. Apply contents to any prepared food. For best results, avoid snacking after a meal and before using Hunger. For maximum effect, wait 24 hours after previous meal.
The product is targeted at the wealthiest Americans, and is priced at $100 per bottle, which translates to a cost of about $10,000 per ounce. The maker acknowledges this is a steep cost, but, insists that this is not a problem because the bottle never runs out. However, they are also quick to point out that they this will not limit their repeat business, as the bottles themselves will be collector’s items, with new fashion-conscious labels every month. the company also as they expects to launch a line of desserts with the name “Just,” and “Revenge,” a line of cold dishes, ready to eat straight from the package. She also notes that you could use Hunger with any of these products to enhance the flavor.
One satisfied customer talking about the product said, “It’s really a fantastic sauce. I’ve never tasted my food so distinctly. I really appreciated my food for the first time ever! I’m becoming downright ventripotent!”
A journalist at the press conference announcing the product couldn’t hide his flabbergasted amazement that such a product would even exist. He remarked, “This product can only exist in the U.S., a country so rich, you have to *buy* hunger. Or, worse, where you’d consider it a choice or a *privilege* to have hunger. Unbelievable.”
Aren’t you glad you skipped the introduction and jumped straight into the story? Me too.
ventripotent / ven – TREE – poh – tent / gluttonous, taking a greedy delight in eating