Today was a very strange day, and I admit to dragging a bit tonight. Remember that tomorrow is Talk Like a Pirate Day, and that pirates have eye patches and parrots. I’m clearly ranting. So, until next week, I’ll simply leave you with…
While the Society for Preparation of Armageddon Caused by astronomical Events (SPACE) awaits Friday’s planetary alignment, rival anti-technology society, Technology Is Mostly Evil (TIME), awaits an Armageddon of a different sort. The two groups, divided by their opposing views and opinions as to the manner of the Apocalypse, have perpetuated a near-violent state of conflict for many decades.
When SPACE announced that the planetary alignment to occur on Friday, May 6, 2000 was the prophesied end of the world, TIME disagreed. The end of the world, TIME says, is going to be Friday, September 18, 2009 at 11:42 PM, MDT. According to TIME, the signs will be building throughout the day, and at precisely 11:42 MDT, our technology dependent world will suffer a fatal collapse, and simply cease to be. TIME spokesperson, Lela Kotler, said that virulent e-mail virus attacks, an upsurge in celebrity deaths, the admission of guilt by a Denver-based terrorist, and discussion of a public health care option are some of the signs of the end of the technical world.
The conflict between SPACE and TIME has escalated over the past few decades. As the world became increasingly technologically advanced, the arguments put forth for SPACE became less credible, and proponents of TIME derided the organization for its “superstitious” ideas. As technology began to make increasing demands on people’s lifestyles, TIME’s membership rolls swelled.
But a third group, Nothing Unusual Tends to Succeed (NUTS), says that neither group is correct, and that the ideas presents by both groups are unasinous, and that, if the world ever did come to an end, it would simply be because of the expiration of the sun in a huge explosion.
When I first started typing this story, it sounded much more interesting. Of course, I was busy deleting the virus-laden e-mail which was filling my inbox. Anyway, hope to see you all at the end of the world…
unasinous / YOUN-ass-in-us / equally stupid.