I think I’m starting to master the ninja secrets of invisibility. It’s actually really easy. You sit very still, and close your eyes. The hard part is waking up. The ostrich has the right idea. I’ve no idea what any of that means.
The neighborhood was sleeping, unprepared and unaware of the nightly terror that regularly visited through open windows and tiny openings in doors. Through any opening, the culprits would slip through, and commit the most clandestine of crimes.
So clandestine were these crimes, that most of the victims never even noticed. The invasions were nearly silent, the crimes, hardly noticeable. Dark cloaked and nimble, the burglers would steal their heart’s desires and sneak back to their homes before dawn.
Until a new nighttime stroller moved into the neighborhood. This particular type of thief had little interest in the delights of his fellows, small baubles and feathers held no delight for him. His out of the ordinary tastes threatened to upset the freedom enjoyed by the other nocturnal bandits.
Suspiscions were aroused when one of the neighbors discovered something amiss. A half-eaten prize lasagna had been in the kitchen awaiting a moment when the makers would return to the properly store the leftovers. When the kitchen was revisited, the owners noted that the remaining lasagna was gone, with naught but a single paw print to point to the culprit.
With a cold trail, the saddened lasagna bakers simply retired to bed.
The trail, however, had an ending. The deviant deviant was caught when the overly large creature, in a crapulous state, could not entirely return home. Stuck half-way through the pet door, the fat, lasagna thieving cat, had been caught, unapologetically, red-pawed.
This idea started when I wondered what if, instead of cat burglers, there were burgler cats. Now, I’ve read through this a few times, and it stopped making sense at some point, and then it made some sense I think. All this means to me is that it’s likely time for bed.
crapulous / CRAP – you – loss / sick from over indulgence in food or drink. Admit it, that is not at all what you were expecting it to mean.