The specter of Monday the 13th looms dangerously over today’s story. I thought of this story over a week ago, but, it was resigned to circle my brain while I was in Boston for work. What’s clear to me is that perhaps, it is good that it got delayed until today, because it does seem to be a Monday the 13th type tale.
Okay. I’ve procrastinated long enough now. It’s time to reveal…
The quarterly marketing meeting was well underway. The head of marketing was going over his agenda, while his translator provided the usual clarification.
“We’ve got to upsizzle our widgets. Totalimundo’s been downinated for 4 cycles.”
“We need a hot new product. Our sales have been down for the last year,” came the translation.
“Hand-n-yak some ideantions at me. We’re eyeballing some serious tightbeltinating, and pinkslippering.”
The translator looked around uneasily, then clarified: “Any suggestions? We’re looking at serious budget cuts and layoffs.”
“Well, we could focus on improving our customer service and making our current products the best they can be.”
Silence fell on the room. The head of marketing looked expectantly at his translator, who, said nothing.
The idea was repeated, in a slightly different fashion, in hopes that rephrasing would render it more comprehensible. “We could provide exceptional products and remarkable customer service.”
Again, silence followed.
The translator looked around helplessly. “I can’t translate that. Don’t you have any buzzwords or could you do some sort of logodaedaly to make this easier? There’s just no way to communicate those concepts to him.”
Everyone else looked around the room uneasily. “But, that’s just it. The idea is just that. No buzzwords, just plain, simple, quality and excellence.”
“Quality? Excellence? I can’t tell him that! There are some things that simply can’t be said to most marketing types. Can’t you just come up with something else?”
I don’t think there’s anything more to be said about that.
logodaedaly / low – go – DEE – dally / Arbitrary coinage of words