Today’s story grew up from a stay thought in my odd little brain. Of
course, many of you might say that is where all the stories come
from, which, incidentally, would likely be true. Of course, I still
had to find something suitable for…
Today on Masterworks Theater we bring you a rare treat. This work is
the only extant interpretation of what a few scholars believe is the
the earliest dramatic work. It was discovered by Dr. Winston
Albright, an Anthropologist/Archaeologist, who has interpreted a
newly discovered cycle of cave paintings as a dramatic presentation.
This short feature was produced by Dr. Albright, a sample of which is
reproduced below, with translations. Dr. Albright has titled the
work “Ugh,” which roughly translates as “Living and Working.” The
following scene takes place in the “corporate” working work of the
DO: Errrgh! Huh!
Translation: Our profit margins are significantly minuscule!
Who’s is responsible for this egregious inefficiency?
AK: Guuuuunnng. Nugg-Nug.
Translation: Nug is the incompetent one. He’s the boss’
nephew, and he has not been able to overcome his primitive urges.
NUG: Euuggh. Arrrrrrrghhh! Uh!
Translation: That is untrue. You’re jealous because your
father still drags his knuckles! We’ll see who will be downsized for
AK: Ug. Errrrrrrpyg!
Translation: I am unconcerned by your threats. I may become
unemployed, but you will always be a lazy, steatopygous, imbecile!
Nug: Iggg GAHGggg!
Translation: Your insults will be reported to Human Resources, and you will find yourself shamed and unable to find and keep a mate. Your line will die out!!!!
OG: Puggoo UHHHhhh Jugggg! Nug!
Translation: Enough of this chatter! Solve this problem, or all of you, even Nug, will find themselves fed to the terrible lizards, and eventually turned into oil, and spilled into the Gulf of Mexico!
Scary, isn’t it? Very little changes. I did enjoy writing this story.
steatopygous: / STEE-toe-PI-jee-us / fat-buttocked.