Word of the Day: paronomasia

Hoy es miércoles y Día de las Profesiones Administrativas. Wait. Sorry. Today is Wednesday, and also Administrative Professionals Day, which is the *totally* renamed Secretary’s Day. This is the first time I’ve worked in such a roll, and I’ve gotten a lovely plant and got taken to a lovely lunch.

Also, I did want to set the record straight, because people have thought I made it all up. The “star” of yesterday’s story is an actual, real Pharaoh, maybe. Here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Djedefptah. His mummy has not been found, and he may be a myth, but, that was sorta the point, right?

And before the Egyptologists beat me up, yes, I do know that Annubis is the God of mummification and the afterlife who gets sorta preempted by Osiris when those Middle Kingdom upstart Pharaohs took over the place, and ruined everything.

For the rest of you who don’t give one hairy hindquarter about any of this, I’ll shut up and let you get on with…

Today’s Word:


As in:

Earthquake relief donations of all sorts have been finding their way to Haiti for the last 3 months. Aid workers have been tasked with sorting the supplies and getting them to where they are most needed.

Sometimes, the objects sorted have obvious utility. Water, clothes, food and medical supplies are easy to prioritize and process. Other items are more cryptic.

“This box says ‘Solar-powered Bibles.’ What? Aren’t all Bibles, or all books for that matter, solar-powered? Open in the sun. Read. Done. Who needs these?” commented Aid worker Dennis Klein.

“Maybe they’re actually powered by the Son,” said Jurgen Van Houten, who had become well-known for his paronomasia. He waited for the requisite groans from his barbaric comrades, who were not nearly cultured enough to appreciate his linguistic gymnastics.

“It seems like they’re hand held audio devices. A spoken-word, solar-powered Bible. For people who can’t read. Oh, look! It’s in Haitian Creole. That’s thoughtful,” said Anne Pollen. “But, you can’t eat them, or shelter under them. I’m not sure what to do with these.”

Dennis looked thoughtful. “Maybe we sell them? We won’t get but a fraction of what they are worth, especially after shipping them to someplace to sell them, but…”

Anne stopped him. “There’s a note! It says that these are to bring hope and comfort, so that the people of Haiti can be reassured that God loves them. That’s very cheery, I guess. I’m going to put them over here with the other things of less-than-immediate utility.”

She took the large box over to the pile of oddities. There were stacks of Burger King paper crowns, and some sports equipment. A cache of winter clothing, polar survival gear, and snow shovels filled one corner, in another, a small collection of television sets and a collection of Yanni CDs. 

So, Jen gets the the credit of pushing this story over the edge from lame idea to full-blown actual story. It just had some gelling to do overnight. It maybe could’ve used another day to gel, but that’s my fault.

This is based on a true story. A group did send a bunch of these solar-powered bibles to Haiti: http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE60I02S20100119

paronomasia / pair – ah – no – MAY – zia / a play on words, pun