Happy Friday Eve, everyone! I’ve had a weird week, and I’m hoping Friday will bring great things. I’m trying to work on a bunch of projects, which I’m feeling sorta excited, and I think you’ll see some of these ideas starting next week.
This is a shortish story, but, any longer and it’s be like one of those Saturday Night Live sketches that just go on so long that people have forgotten there was supposed to be a joke in there somewhere.
Amid the controversies surrounding the influences of violent and “vulgar” media images on America’s youth, the National Association of Theater Owners (NATO), has begun to develop a plan to more strictly enforce the Motion Picture Association of America’s ratings guidelines.
NATO forces will be enforcing the already existing guidelines by replacing the existing ticket clerks with armed guards who will check the identification of every movie patron. If any ticket holder is under the age requirement for a movie, and is without the companionship of a parent or guardian, they will be penalized with “significant economic sanctions.”
Further violations of NATO’s resolutions will result in large-scale bombing campaigns and the potential of an invasion of armed ground troops. While some feel that the measures are necessary to curb the rise of youth violence,
others feel that the plan will “go too far,” and has the potential to “turn America’s cinemas into cinerariums.”
Does anyone else find it weird that NATO is *both* an organization of countries and of a group of theater owners? Just me then. Well then.
cinerarium / SIN-er-air-ee-um / a place to receive the ashes of the cremated dead.