I’ve been trying to catch up on a million other things, so, I’m treating you to the tribute I wrote for Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, one of the best shows to ever appear on television (if you’re rolling your eyes, you probably never watched it. Even T.V. Guide lists it as one of the top 50 shows ever.), I present to you…
The Department of Homeland Security has been working to identify potential threats to the welfare of the country. In addition to fostering paranoia, invading privacy and redefining the status of individuals to facilitate lengthy incarcerations, the department is cracking down on potential threats previously deemed inconsequential.
The re-categorization of things previously deemed insignificant as threats to national security has noticeably increased the rates of phobias once regarded as obscure. Most curious is the reported increase in lepusphobia, which grew an astonishing 173%.
Dr. A. Overheiser, a noted behavior modification specialist with expertise in unusual phobias, has attributed this growth, in part, to the unusual intersection of what sufferers describe as the “current climate of fear” in conjunction with the changing perception that truly dangerous threats are disguised as the most humble and innocent of creatures. One patient, who identified herself as Christina Emanuella Jenkins, said “Bunnies aren’t just cute like everybody supposes.”
While Dr. Overheiser is quick to point out that phobias are by definition “inexplicable, illogical and exaggerated fears,” only a handful of lepusphobes were known to exist until a few years ago. “I am at a loss to explain why this particular phobia has seen such growth. It’s quite mystifying.”
Although Dr. Overheiser is uncertain of the origins of this fear, noted biology expert Daniel Osbourne further commented that “they might not look it, but bunnies can really take care of themselves.”
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I miss Buffy.
lepusphobia / LEP – uhs – FOEB – ee – ah / fear of rabbits, of course.
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