It is seldom wise to reveal a lady’s age, especially if that lady is a famous fashionista. However, I am willing to risk it in this case. I think, probably, I could take her.
Hey! If I get involved in a “chick fight” with a famous fashion diva, would you all buy tickets, and invite your friends? Please?
Next year, Mattel celebrates the 50th anniversary of the top-selling and widely recognized icon of girlish playthings, the Barbie doll. To celebrate, Mattel is releasing a new line of Barbie products to reflect the changes in Barbie’s world, which has, as even Mattel has finally admitted, an element of caducity.
Certainly, this was part of the plan, after all, a fashion doll could not have the same clothing year after year. By making Barbie’s clothing and accessories expire quickly, each item could, itself, become scarce.
Mattel’s carefully management of each item in its Barbie arsenal not only kept Barbie in the current fashions of the day, it also meant that parents were forced to return to the store regularly to buy the latest glamorous items to outfit their child’s precious plastic plaything. To Mattel’s delight, this insured a steady income stream year after year.
Competition, especially from the “Bratz” line of dolls, has increased dramatically. Barbie, once easily the Queen, has had her reign challenged, so Mattel decided it was time to take aggressive action, and reposition Barbie as a more realistic model of femininity.
First, there’s the “Wrinkled and Graying” Barbie, a model which adds character lines to her famous face. This Barbie has accomplished much in her 50 years, becoming a highly successful lawyer, surviving Ken’s numerous extra marital affairs, which culminated in him leaving her for G.I. Joe.
Another special 50th anniversary doll has a slightly curved spine, indicative of long years of supporting the Barbie-proportioned chest for all these years. This model also has a mild paunch, which Barbie earned after having three kids. Of course, age and trauma induced caducity means that Barbie isn’t really sure who the father of these children is, nor does she have any memory of ever having any children at all.
Of course, Barbie, the doll no one ever expected to age, much less, age gracefully, will not be expected to go into middle age alone. A whole product line of aging friends will be joining her.
There’s “Propecia Ken,” a model of Ken without his full plastic coif. Barbie’s friend Skipper fills the shelves with a new look. She’s had several hundred dollars of “plastic” surgery, and looks perkier than ever. Other Barbie accessories include a car with one rear light continually blinking, and a dream house with the heat turned up to 80 degrees.
caducity / CAD-u-city / the quality if being transitory or perishable; senility.
Perhaps you noticed that I have managed to pull into the story all the possible meanings of the word. Of course, Barbie is *only* forty-nine, so the car blinker and the dream house heating was probably a bit much. But, if world-wide recognition adds years, Barbie’s probably the oldest almost 50-year-old out there.