Today’s glimmer of an idea is not even nearly as good as yesterday’s. I’m saying this because you, my devoted readers, deserve the truth. Because the truth isn’t out there. It’s here. For you. And the truth hurts. Me. Mostly me.
For last minute shoppers looking for that ultimate Valentine’s Day gift, remember that nothing says romance quite like our “President’s Day” sale. Come on in, and see for yourself why Crazy Ned’s Tire and Road Kill Emporium is the place to be for VD! We’re staying open late to give you and your sweetheart a Valentine’s Day to remember.
Bring your special someone in to see our quality tires made from the finest materials in the world. Breathe deeply the sweet smell of automotive products, and marvel at our low prices. And this weekend, our spectacular President’s Day deals will have you buying gifts for the whole family. Bring them all to Ned’s and enjoy a skewer of our house specialty, “Squirrel Kabobs.” They taste great, and you can carry them with you while you shop. Or relax and enjoy a quiet meal of venison steak and fingerling potatoes in our lovely dining room. If you’ve never eaten deer with your dear, isn’t it time?
Enjoy the nidor of freshly killed meats mingled with the aromas of new tires! It’s a smell you won’t soon forget, and neither will your date. Give her a lifetime Valentine’s Day memory, bring her to Ned’s, where the rubber meets the road.
I saw an ad wanting me to buy gifts for President’s Day, and then I wondered “Who buys gifts for President’s Day? Such a romantic idea: “Here, honey, I was honoring our Presidents and wanted to get you a little something!” And it sorta went downhill from there.
I thought about having Ned’s offering couples some other latex related products for dining with them on Sunday, and tried to work it in, but, I figured that would be pushing it. But wait! There it is. Have a great weekend, however and whatever you celebrate.
nidor / nih – DOOR / the savory aroma of cooked meat or food.