I have no idea what to say here.
As the world inches closer to the year 2012, many are looking to old books of prophesy and religion and finding naught but doom.
Both the red and the white heifer, the Hebrew analogues of the red and white dragons in the Arthurian tales, have been born, signifying the beginning of the end of the world. The ashes of the red heifer are supposed to be sacrificed in the Dome of the Rock to make way for the building of the Third Temple. The final Antichrist prophesied by Nostradamus, Bill Gates, is in the world, and the price of a decent cup of coffee has soared to over $4.
Yet, even more disastrous prophesies have also been fulfilled. The prophesies of a highly obscure, but no less important book of Prophesy, “The Book of All-Things Unseen by Blue-Eyes with Glasses,” or the book of “Really, Truly and Honestly Important and Scary Things to Happen at the End of All, as Written Down by Fred” has predicted that in the final days, the Ruler of the Turkey Free World, Tom Turkey, will be assassinated by wasps, and served, with his
Prime Minister, Jerry Turkey, at a gathering of good friends. The prophesy states that the gathering will be a noble and momentous occasion, and shall have in attendance those destined to rule the New World after the Cataclysm which will begin after the suspension of work by an overpaid conglomerate of tall young men. From the gathering will emerge the New World Order, an order characterized by more trees, the exploration of all things physical and metaphysical and a certain “jen e sais quois.”
The prophesy also state that the world will be overrun by disease, in which many people and turkey exhibit symptoms of pemphigus, and can find no salves to cure it, and there will be a plague of saucy froggies carried by a haboob across the many oceans.
Of course, nobody ever listens to Fred…
pemphigus: / PEM-fi-gus / a disease characterized by large blisters on skin and mucous membranes and often by itching or burning. Oh yes, and for those that don’t remember, a haboob is a strong wind/sand storm, esp in N. Africa.