Greetings! The election is over, which means the only annoying phone calls left to me are people asking for money. Ah, the good old days.
I was saddened to learn that the Archway Cookie company has gone out of business. Both my father and grandfather worked for them, and family legend had it that their most famous cookie, “Ruth’s Old Fashioned Oatmeal” was named for my grandmother. It’s a good story, but, entirely false.
Anyway, I’ve stalled enough. On to…
Many people thought Penelope was merely paranoid. Her belief that the windows of buildings were eyes watching her, sounded to everyone like pure nonsense, until one day, after publishing her beliefs on the internet, Penelope was found in the “grasp” of a window shutter, strangled to death.
Penelope’s story had spread. The story was all over the world, and there were those that believed she was responsible for the sharp downturn in window sales in her small town. Of course, in most places, this would be of little note, but, this town’s existence and livelihood was dependent upon window manufacturing.
In a company town, the suspicious death of a person thought to be the cause of an economic downturn was not investigated very thoroughly, especially when their were “eyewitnesses,” who swore they saw the shutter snap closed around her neck the minute she got within reach. Despite the fact that shutters typically didn’t close themselves, the resultant dudgeon lingering in town meant that their testimony was enough to justify ending the investigation.
In public, many attribute the strange occurrence to coincidence, but others aren’t so sure. Said one crackpot, “They’re watching me now, so I can’t say much. Beware of shutters.”
Penelope’s brother, a custom window installer, and frequent critic of his sister’s beliefs, had no comment.
And, with that, I think I’m officially out of ideas.
dudgeon / DUD – jun / A state of angry indignation usually provoked by opposition; ill humor, resentment